We’re all aware that certain illnesses are more common in kids — the common cold, toothbrush? Would your 11-year-old prefer to take a shower or a bath? Does your pre-schooler want you to wipe her nose, or can she do it by herself? Finally, look for opportunities to praise your child for doing a good job in maintaining her health, like brushing her sleep habits are usually disrupted. Routine daily activities — like going to a play group, school or football game — are interrupted. Since kids thrive on routines, the change in normal, daily activities can be upsetting and disorienting. Reassure your child that once he or she is well, normal routines will return.
An additional lesson kids learn about being sick is that others step in to care for and comfort them. In this way, getting sick has a lot to do with learning about yourself and others. Kids not only benefit directly from the care and love you offer when they’re sick, but they can learn from your example how to care for others, such as siblings or pets, in a similar, empathizing way.
3. Help kids move toward a more logical understanding of illness.
Children’s cognitive understanding of how illness occurs is a gradual process, which changes with the child’s development. Typically, children ages 2 through 7 years think in ways that are magical and in terms of their own immediate experiences, and this is how they will think about illness, as well. For example, if a 3-year-old gets sick on a bright, sunny day, she may think the sun caused her to get sick. Children may also attribute their feeling sick to something more personal, like something they did that day that called for a reprimand, like hitting the dog. It’s important for parents to recognize that children of this age may experience guilt and shame around an illness, and to let them know that getting sick is not their fault.
Children between the ages of 8 and 12 years can think more logically. Kids this age are able to understand that factors beyond themselves, namely germs, are responsible for many illnesses. Most older kids intuitively understand that taking your medicine and following the doctor’s advice are important in recovering from an illness. However, they may have a limited understanding of the body’s role in recovering from illness. After the age of 12, children can think in more sophisticated terms about a variety of causes of diseases and can attain a better understanding of how the body works in response to disease.
When explaining sickness and health to your kids, take care to use explanations that are simple, straightforward and appropriate to the child’s age and developmental level. For example, don’t explain in-depth to a pre-schooler why she caught the flu; instead, praise her for taking care of herself and resting quietly. An older child, on the other hand, will be able to understand more about why she is sick (but she’ll still need your comfort and support in getting well).
4. Promote preventive health habits in a warm, loving manner.
Researchers have found that parents who use positive reinforcement and rewards for good behavior (instead of punishment for bad behavior); encourage independence in the child in taking care of himself; are warm and caring in their approach to the child; and who discipline using explanations are much more likely to have children with good preventive health habits. Never punish a child regarding health habits and never shame your child into maintaining good health behaviors. This will only diminish a child’s confidence in her emerging ability to assume responsibility for her own health. Give your child opportunities to make healthy choices: Does your 5-year-old want a purple or green toothbrush? Would your 11-year-old prefer to take a shower or a bath? Does your pre-schooler want you to wipe her nose, or can she do it by herself? Finally, look for opportunities to praise your child for doing a good job in maintaining her health, like brushing her teeth well or covering her mouth when she coughs. Doing so will help your child feel good about the fact that she is taking care of her body and her health!