Older Woman/Younger Man Relationships

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He was 27, she was 42. Those were the ages of Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore when the couple tied the knot last year, making their highly publicized May-December psychologist in the department of communications at the University of Louisville, tells WebMD. “Factors other than biological can be attractive. You can override a lot of biology in pursuit of other goals.”

 

Interestingly, Cunningham did an unpublished study of 60 women in their 20s, 30s, and 40s, who were shown pictures of men aged to those decades. “The women,” he says, “were more interested in men their own age or older.”

 

As for the men, he says: “I guess it could be nice not to hang around a ditz with no knowledge of music or something like that.”

 

 

Getting Over the “Shoulds”

“We have strong ‘shoulds’ on ways of partnering up,” Kathryn Elliott, PhD, assistant professor of psychology at the University of Louisiana at Lafayette, explains to WebMD. “We are victims of inner-critic constrictedness. We think we should only weigh 120. We should marry people within two years of our age. We pathologize anything that isn’t within those shoulds.”

The key to making older women/younger man relationships with men up to 20 years younger than herself.

 

She works out a lot by her own admission (and judging by her track record in this department) and often meets partners at the gym, not the bars.

 

Winter tells WebMD that she and her co-author interviewed more than 200 couples for their book. Though hardly a scientific study, the research surfaced three myths such couples hear every time:

 

  • Myth No. 1 — “He will leave you for a younger woman.” Winter says they did not find one younger man who did this, at least for a specific woman and because they were younger. “In some cases, the man wanted children,” she says, “and the relationship fell apart because of that.”
  • Myth No. 2 — “The woman was the seducer — Mrs. Robinson.” In all 200 cases, Winter says it was the man who initiated the contact.
  • Myth No. 3 — “It will never last.” Winter said some of the couples they met had been together 25 year or more. The average length of the relationships was 13 years.

 

Pretty Promising Material Out There

Winter is upbeat about the younger generations. “The boomers are lost sheep,” she says. “All they can do to get a woman is dangle their Porsche keys.” As you peel back the decades, though, the men get “cooler,” she says. Guys in their 30s get her vote. “They grew up with AIDS, they are considerate. Such men (at least the ones interested in older women) are stable and mature. They don’t want to be mothered. They want a woman who knows who she is.”

Still, even Winter admits, this may not be for everyone.